Saturday, February 13, 2010
Well the party was today and the cake turned out amazing. I always get nervous when i am going to a birthday party for one of my nieces because they were so close with Amelia. Doing this cake made me channel my negative/uncomfortable energy and really do something amazing with those thoughts. At the party there were a few moments where i had lost a sense of myself but was shortly gained back. I went into the bathroom and cried twice. That quick hard cry really was enough to get me through another two hours of her party. At one point i sat at the table and ate my way through a few rough patches. I engorged myself in the chip bowl and listened to myself slowly become numb and fat. Everyone commented me on my great job and it felt good. After a horrible past few months to feel accomplished. Amelia would have been proud of mommy and her cake. She always said "your the best cooker." even if i made a grilled cheese or a chef-boy-r-dee. I will post pictures later of her cake.