Saturday, October 10, 2009

Parties and more

So Lillian's Birthday is coming up next week. Lou and I have planned this great party. It has kept my mind off of things which is nice. Although at night, its hard but if i am busy during the day its less time to think about what bad things just happened in my life and its not just Amelia's passing its other problems too. Life isn't always cake and pie, you do get a few cookies in there. ha ha. I think that was the first time i joked in my blogs. My therapist, Dave, he tells me laughter is sometimes the remedy but in this case i don't think it is. So Lillian's party, there is about 50-60 people attending. Were having it in the basement of a private club that Lou and His dad belong to in Bethlehem township. I'm excited about it. Last year the girls had a bash for their birthdays. Amelia had a Cinderella party and all the little girls dressed up as princesses and i hired Cinderella, she came and did magic, face paint and danced with the girls. Then Lillian had a Elmo party, we hired Elmo to come for an hour and he did magic and danced, did balloon animals. The kids loved it. This year, there is no hiring of Dora, because that was the theme of the party but i wanted to but Dora the Explorer is a bit expensive. I got an idea to make these centerpieces for Lil's party. Its going to be nice. I really wish Amelia was here, and i hate when people say oh shes here, in spirit. FUCK that! Its not the same thing as having her in my arms, dancing with her sister, singing happy birthday. It just dwelled on me that Lillian is going to be a only child, meaning growing up, And now my doctor wants to do my full hysterectomy in January. I'm worried. maybe ill adopt or freeze my eggs. ugh! i better get back to planning her party or else I'm going to start getting upset.

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