Of course my Birthday had to fall on a Monday this year. Its Monday, the worst day of the week for me. My baby passed away on a Monday. I HATE MONDAYS! Today was nice though, Lillian was excited that today was Mommy's birthday and Lou got a cake and some pizzas, had some of his family over and celebrated my day. Well actually it was my day and Lou's dads day. His birthday is a day before mine. I guess in a good way, I'm grateful that he had a birthday too, that way i didn't feel so alone. Is this crazy thinking? I got a car, yes Lou got me a car, i got a Laptop, which now i can finish my book on and i really wanted one, I got my favorite perfume, its Jessica Simpson's newest fragrance! Oh it smells sooooo good. I also got a gift card every year from Lou so i can go for my massage, i need my massages. Last year i went for a hour one and i loved it! I was sad because Amelia wasn't here but i still enjoyed it. Im trying not to think about it so that way i don't get upset. I konw it may sound cruel but i can't help it. There is so much stress and hurt in my life i am trying to stay positive and not think about the bad, meaning Amelia passing away. What i would do just to have Amelia back for just one hour. I would hold her tight and never let her go. We still let balloons go up to her, that is our Monday tradition. Oh i miss her.