Monday, December 21, 2009

my Nana, MS, and my day

I went to visit my Nana today at Easton Hosptial. I first went to an appointment and then i stopped at Panera Bread and got a big tub of soup and some sides of bread and a sandwich to share with my aunts and my Nana. When i got there i saw my Aunt Joan immediately, she looks like hell. He has MS as well, but she is far way worse then me. I look at her and i often wonder if i am going to look like her when i get older, meaning MS wise. I don't want to be disabled anymore, I'm afraid I'm going to be in a motorized chair when i get older. I was already in a wheelchair and i do still walk with a cane when i need it. Its very hard to be 28 and walking with a cane, people look at you like whats wrong or they stare like they have never seen someone with a cane. A few years ago i had a really bad MS attack and i was in a wheelchair for 6 months and then after that i was using a walker, talk about embarrassing. Whenever my legs hurt and Amelia knew it she would rub my legs and ask if i was ok. I was really concerned about Amelia and MS because besides me and her aunt her grandmother also has MS. Doctors aren't sure if MS is hereditary there is proof that supports it that it can be and that scared me. So when i got to the hospital my Nana was making me laugh. She spoke about a doctor that came in to see her and she thought he was handsome with his salt and pepper hair. She was sharing a room with another elderly woman and the lady couldn't figure out how to turn down the volume to her tv. It was LOUD! my Nana kept going oh gosh, oh why is that so loud. I laughed so hard. I wasn't there very long and then i headed over to Phillipsburg NJ to the mall to get a few things for Christmas. I was actually looking for a certain shirt but instead i got a few other things. I took my Aunts home and then i went to the dollar store, got my balloons and headed home. After dinner we did our balloon send off to Amelia. This time i did something different i decided to really write on it, i wrote a long letter to her. Once i was done and we let the balloons go i realized, what if the balloon lands, what if someone reads my letter to my baby. hmmmmm what does happen to balloons when they go up in the air? any answers out there?

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